THE MIRROR EXPERIMENT
No sooner had I enjoyed the sense of calmness and peace that washed over me when thoughts began to pervade my mind. I began to recall images of how the face I was staring at looked like as child, how it had grown to look when I was in my early teens, and how the face in the mirror evolved from one to the other. All throughout these thoughts I felt that despite the physical changes I was still the same person I was years ago. At certain points during the experiment, I would have short bursts of intense fear, dread, and sadness, as if I all the feelings that I had experienced before came bursting back. At certain times during the full hour I had sensations of being tired and being weary not physically though, but mentally and emotionally. It felt like the mirror was reflecting all my pent up emotions back at me. I also felt a strong sense of identity and ownership of the face in the mirror despite the initial strange feeling that I was not looking at myself. Gradually, I felt a deep feeling of acceptance envelope me, as if I was isolated from the rest of the world and I did not care what happened around me and that I only cared about what I was looking at in the mirror.
I would also experience feelings of sleepiness, like I my eyes wanted to close, but I did not want them to. Looking at me in the mirror felt pleasurable, at the same time a bit tiresome. There was a tingling sensation of warmth that welled up in my stomach, and the feeling seemed to expand to my limbs, to the tips of my fingers and to my face. I got the impression that the face I was looking at in the mirror was visually brighter than everything else around it also reflected in the mirror.
All throughout the experience, there were some things that did not happen to me though. I wasnt able to think about anything else except my self, it was as if I was totally absorbed in myself and preoccupied in gazing at my reflection. I also did not feel any form of anxiety like I was so sure of what I was gazing at and I did not want to concern myself about anything else.
This whole experience was an enlightening experience on my part because I felt emotions that I did not expect to feel and it seemed to me that the experience gave me a clearer and more vivid picture of myself and what went on in my mind and my heart.
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